Intro

Been struggling more with work - what matters? I can't help but feel like nothing... As a Christian I want to do my work "for an audience of 1" as the saying goes... I should do my work with excellence, and I think I have striven for that - it's definitely one reason I have the success and reputation at work that I do have... but as far as the "work" goes, does it matter? To the company, I think the answer is clear - no. They want compliance and submission before innovation and success. But as a believer, where does my loyalty lie?

What I mean is - if I was loyal to a company, then the scenario I'm in would very understadably lead to what I'm currently feeling - remorse, regret, embarrasment, and anger. But if I'm truly loyal to Yahweh, then wouldn't it not matter at all what the company does? I do my work for Yahweh regardless of the company's direction, instruction, or even whether or not they benefit... That's my struggle - I don't want to give another ounce of energy towards the success of an entity that doesn't give a shit about me, but am I violating my own worldview and disrespecting my God by dragging my feet?